First Days with Callie

The days in the hospital were slow going because I was still healing. I am so glad we ended up not getting drugs or most medical interventions. I think my healing would have been even slower. The nurses would bring Callie in to nurse. The first day went well and then the day we were supposed to leave it all went to hell. Luckily, there was an amazing nurse that tracked down the lactation consultant for us. She was so helpful!! It was just such a struggle because Callie has a really strong suck reflex. I thought when they first put her on me that she had been born with teeth!
Bill and I had a moment on the second day with her. The emotion and feeling of our little girl was just so overwhelming. She was finally with us and we were so happy. We just cried and cried. We talked about it days later and I told him how happy I was, that we were missing something in our lives and we didn't even know it. I never knew I could feel so incredibly content and to feel such love for another creature. It is just such a different love.
That is not to say its been all roses and rainbows. The first night home from the hospital was mayhem. We got home late, around 4:30 pm. Grandma Tere had made dinner for us and helped us get settled. I continued trying to nurse but it was still a struggle. As the night wore on, Callie was getting more and more frustrated and I fell apart. I felt like I couldn't take care of her. Luckily mom and Bill were right there to pick me up and make me feel better. We were worried she wasn't getting enough to eat so we supplemented with some formula. I felt better. Then around 12:30am Bill had been up and woke me up. Callie had formula coming out of her nose, her mouth and she was so upset. It was awful! We got the nasal bulb and squeezed the formula out of her nose and we called mom to come and stay with us. We slept in shifts and finally around 4 in the morning I brought her into bed and let her sleep on me. I could slowly see more sunlight pouring into the adjacent room and I thought myself "Thank god! Morning is here and Callie is still alive and breathing!"
The next few days we had lots of help, thankfully, from family bringing food and watching Callie while we could catch a few catnaps. Once my milk came in, things relaxed a great deal. We are still working on the sleeping at night thing, but I'm hoping that each day it will get better.