Mom's Group

I went to a mom's group on Monday. I definitely had a rough weekend. It was probably the lowest I had felt since we brought Callie home and I was struggling with breastfeeding. I know a lot of it was knowing that Bill will be going back to work soon and we will be on our own. I suddenly had this feeling that the world had kept moving and I was standing still; like the only thing I have in my life is this baby and it felt so empty. So I checked the website of Harmony Birth Center (where I had been taking my prenatal yoga classes during my pregnancy) and checked out their groups. I am so glad I went. It really helped just to hear that other moms were dealing with the same problems I was. And it made me realize that we are actually pretty lucky in terms of the way Callie sleeps. There were several moms there who said their babies only sleep an hour or two a night! The facilitator was so awesome! She said exactly the things I needed to hear: that we all struggle in the begining, it will get better, and to trust myself. No one has all the answers. When it was my turn to speak I talked about feeling left behind. She said something really interesting: that I need to mourn my old life. I will never be that person again. I will never be a teacher who doesn't have children. But that I can still be a part of that old world. I can still see my friends and hang out with them even if I have a baby. I also talked about how I feel like I need to get out more but I hate having to use my breastmilk. It is the oddest thing: I pump everyday so I have milk ready to go when we go out but I never want to use it. Another mom said she thought it might be because it is so precious! Carrie (the facilitator) asked if I felt comfortable breastfeeding in public yet, to which I replied an emphatic NO. Then she suggested I go places where it is accepted like Harmony. So I think I will be hanging out there for a while until I get comfortable. The other thing that really helped was seeing moms with older babies, like 6 months or so, it looked like fun! Babies that can sit up and play. So at least I have that to look forward to. I know that her being so fussy will pass, its just hard to remember sometimes.